Brandon was only three months old when you decided you didn’t want to be a part of his life. He never did anything to you. He looked to you for everything. He wasn’t able to speak and he wasn’t able to express his needs except to cry for them. There were many nights that I sent awake trying to sooth him back to sleep. He would fall asleep in my arms and just when I closed my eyes he wake up again. And I didn’t mind because I love him more than anything.
Our love has died and I have come to terms with that. The one thing that still ways on my mind is that you aren’t their for our son. He will know his father and someday he will ask about you and I will have to find the words to explain to him that you don’t love him. I’m not sure I can do that. Brandon means the world to me and every time I look in the eyes of that sweet little boy I can’t help but think how our lives would have been different if we had worked things out.
I know you have moved on and have gotten re-married and you even had another kid. It breaks my heart to think that you can just move on like that. And it makes it worse to know that you got re-married before we were even divorced. I hope someday you can look your self in the mirror and like the person staring back.
I don’t even care about the money I get monthly that doesn’t replace the fact that things didn’t work out. You will never get to see your son on his first day of school or at his graduation or even on his wedding day. Those are the moments for a dad and you are not his dad.