I have known I am adopted since before I could talk. My parents were and are very open about the subject. I was lucky enough to be adopted at birth. I was born to a sixteen year girl who made the toughest decision of her of life. She would give up her baby for adoption.
My adoptive mom aka mom tells me how she would call and write the doctor every chance she could get. She was determined to adopted a baby. Since she couldn’t have kids herself and she wanted to be a mom more than anything in this world. Finally she gets a call from the doctor that would change her life forever.
My mom and dad lived in Alaska at the time and I was born in Washington State. My parents quickly got on a plane and went to pick up their little bundle joy. I don’t know all of the legal process but I do know I was taken home not long after being born.
I grew up in a loving family with a sister, who is also adopted. We never went without and we always talked about people who had given us up so many years before. I was always curious about my birth mother and couldn’t wait until I turned eighteen so I could search for her. I remember turning eighteen and being excited to finally start the long journey. I didn’t really know where to start but I did a Google search on how to start and where to start. I got millions of search results and it was almost overwhelming.
Then one day I realized I had court documents from the adoption. And a mistake had been made, my birth mother’s maiden name hadn’t been blackened out. There it was in black and white. The one clue I had been waiting for. I went back to Google and did another search for that last name. I got tons of results but it did narrow it down. And since I knew the name of city I was born in it made it easier.
After my initial search I decided to stop and focus on other things like going to college and eventually getting married some years later. It was until after I was married and about to have a baby of my own that my search got a little more exciting.
I was on Facebook one day I noticed that my friend Cindy does adoption searches as a search angel. She knew I was adopted and I’m not sure who asked who but she offered to help me. I gave her all the info. I had, which wasn’t much, but as it turns out more then I thought. A maiden name is a huge piece of info. to have and I was very lucky to have that.
Some months later I had forgotten I had given Cindy the info. and she messages me one day and says she found who could possibly be relative to my birth mother. He has a website with family photos from vacations and he had his e-mail listed. Cindy writes to him and he gets back to her saying that he thinks he knows who my birth mother is and will have to write her a letter to ask.
A few weeks go by and we get a response back from him, yes he right and here is the info. on how to contact my birth mother. Cindy I believe wrote her a letter explaining everything and to see if she was interested in talking to me. As it turns out she is interested in talking to me. Cindy sets up a phone call.
What do you say to some one who gave you up? Millions of questions ran through my head Will she like me? What if she doesn’t? Of course she will like you,she gave birth to you. Many more thoughts crossed my mind. You must know I was never mad at her for giving me up and I wanted her to understand that. I don’t remember all the details of the conversation but I do remember it being really awkward and there being lots of crying(for joy). There was lots of awkward silence and lots of wonderment. She told me that she had always wanted to know what had happened to me. She told me of her two girls and I told her that I was married and about to have a son. She was very happy for me. We talked for a few more minutes and then we said our good byes and hung up. We talked a few more times after that and I decided that is was too much for me at the time and that I didn’t want to talk anymore.
I had my son a few months later and my journey of motherhood started. I went about life and ended up getting divorced and moving back home. It wasn’t until I moved back home that I decided to start talking to my birth mother again. We became friends on Facebook and soon I became friends with her daughters as well. I started asking questions about my medical history and she gladly answered any questions I had. And boy did I have a lot. She didn’t remember much of the birth other then she went to the hospital and some hours later she gave birth. She did say it was a tough decision to give me up but she knew that she couldn’t give me everything I needed and she wanted the best for me. She got to pick out the parents and she was glad to hear that they are great parents.
Her oldest daughter and I talk on Facebook every now and then. She said she hopes to call me her sister some day. I think we have reached that day. I love having two families. Even though it is odd sometimes I think that things worked out for a reason. And I HOPE to some day meet my birth mother and her daughters. Talking online is fun but I really want to meet in person. And I did ask about my birth father but I will save that story for another blog. But until then I hope to continue this wonderful journey of getting to know my birth mother and half sisters.